The Illusionist

I have no idea what overcame me today while I watched this movie today during STAC.

It's one of those things that you can't really talk about because there's just so much to talk about.

For one, the animation itself had me on the brink of tears. I would feel a ripple of astonishment and wonder every ten minutes due to the shear amount of beauty the film had. It humbles me to think about the amount of work it took to animate The Illusionist. The director, Sylvain Chomet, also directed another film we watched in STAC called The Triplets of Belleville. That one was much more lighthearted than The Illusionist, but I did find many similarities. Both films had nearly identical color palettes, both flip flop in between the need for technology and its complications, and both are visually stunning. 

Today's film was so damn beautiful and so damn depressing and so damn unfulfilling all at once. The pauper-esque girl that ran off with the magician started out as such a charming and curious character but by the end of the film, I despised her for what she had done. The man who saved her from a life of work and dullness was repaid in ignorance and selfishness. I never once got the feeling that there was romance between the girl and the magician. It was always more like a father who wanted the best for his daughter. Even during times when money was tight, a smile on a daughter's face was enough.

Witnessing the evolution of both the magician and the girl's character throughout the film was devastating to my psyche. I think that is what caused me to want to sob uncontrollably after the film had ended. Just typing about it is making my eyes misty. The tremendously complex relationship between the two along with how the animation was executed just did it for me. The irony that was in the last couple of scenes hit me so hard because it exemplifies the idea that awareness is not an endless reservoir. The release of the rabbit and the endless vicious cycle of being pushed down but having the courage to get back up again is completely shot with the note that the magician left Alice near the end: 

"Magicians do not exist."

This film broke me in the best way possible. 

I want to watch this film over and over and over again and just let my spirit shatter into beautifully tragic pieces. 

Puppets and Improv

We did an improv activity with the puppets and this is all that I can say about it:

Puppets are freakin' weird, man.

It's fascinating the things that puppets can get away with- assaulting people, checking their boobs out, murder- you name it. There's this strange cognitive dissonance that surrounds puppets and it's really creepy! We did a series of trading puppets and puppeteer/victim responsibilities. My fairly innocent puppet turned out to be a real pervert when people played with it which is extremely amusing.

One puppet that I felt particularly assaulted by was Frank's puppet, which was controlled by Sabrina in my case. Wow, that was a weird sentence....puppet assault. Alrighty then! Frank's puppet reminded me of a medieval elf wizard high on crack, since it was snarling and it's eyes were terribly bloodshot. Sabrina also gave the puppet this demonic voice that was really offsetting.

Overall, sitting as a victim being leered at by a puppet is a very uncomfortable feeling. I'm not quite sure what it is because I mean, they're made of paper mache! They're not real human beings! Perhaps it's the dead expressions and the fact that they're dolls that make puppets really creepy and unappealing to be around alone.

MoMA

The Museum of Modern Art recently got in contact with me after all these months!

I applied for a volunteer position at the museum sometime last year (I think in October- I have no clue), and they finally got back to me. After a bunch of housekeeping involving a short letter of intent, references, resume, etc., the Director of Volunteering set up an interview with me.

I went in on Friday, April 18th, and arrived a tad bit early for my 1:30 PM interview. I was a little fidgety but that's only because this was my first interview ever. I volunteered to be a lobby greeter. The job goes as follows: 

Greet and direct visitors, discourage line jumping, distribute general information, educate visitors about Museum programs other attractions in New York, distribute plastic umbrella bags on rainy days, and assist with crowd control in the lobby. Approach families in the lobby and inform them about the resources available to families at MoMA. Seek out and approach groups at lobby entrances, and help to orient them by greeting them, establishing whether they have a reservation, taking the group leader to group processing area, and taking the groups to checkroom and group waiting area.

I was interviewed by the director and one other assistant who's already a volunteer. The general kind of questions were asked: what kind of extracurricular activities do you participate in, describe yourself with three qualities, and why are you interested in the program. I mentioned STAC and Lilypad Photo Studios, to which the assistant perked up and said she's heard of the photo studio.

Overall, they were quite pleased with my interview and both of them believed that I was a seasoned interviewee. They mentioned my decent speaking skills, confidence, and impressive resume for a high schooler. 

I think I have a pretty good shot at being accepted into the program.

Rabbits

Today was one of those days where I felt so grateful that my art had my back.

I was having a pretty shitty and uneventful day and I had no desire to go to art class. Now that I had finished my Marie Walsh application, there was no longer anything to cram for, so the drive to make art kind of became lost. I went to art class in the end because I had nothing else to do, and I didn't feel like staying at home.

I kept telling myself on the way that things would get better and that I had another half day to turn my day around, but I didn't really believe it.

Anyway, I dragged my butt there and ended up going to the nearby art store and picking up a canvas.

I started brainstorming and painting and here's where I am with it now:

Gross Garden

Sarah and I are working on a horribly disfigured art project called Gross Garden.

The concept is very simple: Sometimes, fruits and vegetables are really dirty.

It started out being a way to kill time since we both didn't feel like doing anything serious in class. We've been wanting to collaborate with each other for some time now, so this was perfect.

This is our brain child.

This is our demon child.

View at your own discretion.

Auld Lang Syne

Today was the moment of truth that Austin, Anika and I have been working up to.

Everyone presented their One-Act plays that they have been working on over the past three or so weeks. My particular one is called Auld Lang Syne Or, I'll Bet You Think This Play Is About You by Beverly Creasey. I played a "fashionable woman" named Anna and Austin played a "well-dressed man" named Charles.

Anyway, I'll cut to the chase.

The point is, I didn't do so well. I say that because I missed more than half my script. However, I believe that I did the best that I could given my circumstances. The run through that I did yesterday in front of the class was when I feel like I really nailed my character. There was a point in the play where I was screaming at Austin, and I got so into the scene that I nearly cried. I was shaken up after the scene ended.

I screwed up today and I'm a bit upset about it, but it wasn't devastating.
I should've reviewed my lines more and memorized them better.

Although today was sort of a mess up, I don't think it will discourage me from acting in the future. It's enjoyable, I must say. I remember coming into STAC my freshman year and being absolutely terrified of acting and standing up in front of people. I no longer feel as self-conscious and afraid about doing poorly in front of people. Of course it might feel embarrassing and crappy if I stumble, but it's not as catastrophic as it was before.