Can't wait to get out from under this roof and away from my psychopathic parents.
I love them and all, but that doesn't make them any less psychotic.

THREE MORE YEARS, MICHELLE. THREE MORE YEARS.

Help!

I'm a swirl of possibilities again.

I was thinking about college majors and what I want to do, and I was just hoping someone could provide for me some insight. I thoroughly enjoy art and creating art, designing, and all of that stuff, but I simply don't know where to head with it.

I'm sort of feeling communication arts; studying graphic design or public relations?
Arts management, maybe?

I'm interested in sociology. And microeconomics. And the human psyche. And demographics.

If I were to mix all of that together in one giant melting pot - art & design, management, sociology, microeconomics, psychology and demographics - that's what I'd want to do for the rest of my life.

What does it take to become a creative director?

If I think about it hard enough, all of this is really starting to sound like advertising design. Which sucks. Because my sister is an advertising major. Is it bad to major in the same thing as a sibling?

What the fuck do I do? I know I'm the only one who can truly answer that question and decide for myself, but any guidance would be helpful.

Artistic Inquiry

I am ecstatic to finally announce that I am finally out of my artistic slump.
Do I get a parade equipped with confetti for this?

It all started with this:

I call it "Continuous Referendum."

This is just a work-in-progress which I'm definitely going to transform into something bigger and better. Luke and I were throwing around ideas today, and he mentioned that I should maybe come up with a proposal to paint a mural on one of the school walls. No one in STAC has ever done it before, and it's an attractive idea. I have one concern if I go big on this though- I'm afraid that it'll lose the attractive quality it has for me through the process that I'll have to withstand, that is, if this does make it to mural status. Yeah, doing this on a small scale (my sketchbook) was simple because it was within my physical boundaries, but once I take it out of those boundaries and expand, that's where I'll run into problems. Proportions and rulers will be necessary. Precision and extreme amounts of time will be necessary. And failure will always be lurking around the corner.

One of my fears that I'm still learning to overcome (along with many other people) is the idea of failure. Failure is extremely scary in any and every sense of the word, and that's okay. It's okay to be afraid to fail because as humans, it's not in our nature to see failure as something that is "acceptable." But the more important part is realizing that failure is essential in the equation for success. You don't improve without making a mistake, taking that mistake, and learning from it. Never allow yourself to give up on anything because then it will become a parasite that will continue to feed and grow on you. In good time, if you let this happen, all you will know is how to give up.

Since I'm still learning to cope with failure, I've decided that I'll be taking baby steps. There's going to be several steps (or maybe not) till it gets to mural stage.
- Double the size and paint it.
- Double the size, do it digitally, and print it.
- Create an etching/silkscreen/letterpress on multiple sizes.
- Experiment with it on the STAC wall to get a feel for how it might look on a larger scale.

And if I like the results and believe that I can do it,
- Write a proposal, get permission and do a mural.

Optimist, Pessimest, Realist

Personally, I don't enjoy all of the connotations that are tied to the words "optimist, pessiment, and realist." They do not determine whether you are a good or bad person. It is just a matter of fact; it's neither good or bad. It just is what it is. Whatever floats your boat and gets you by, right?

I'm the sort of person who always has their head in the clouds. I'd say that I'm both an optimist and a pessimist, and that's fine by me.

Started another 365.

A photography 365.

Check it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/meeshl/sets/72157631964884282/

I wish I had a studio all to myself. A place where I could immerse myself in my art and inspirations. I'm thinking of turning my current room into a studio. I already have an idea of what to do with my room; I'm going to repaint my walls, decorate my walls with my work and inspirations, and get one of those "bunk beds" where the top is the sleeping area and underneath is a work place.

But I need to stop wishing & wanting, and start doing.

I feel like my brain is slowly rotting away....creatively speaking, of course.

I need a new spark of energy and inspiration.

I am in a artistic slump right now, and it's bothering me.

But I am interested in learning how to do paper marbling....so I guess I could start from there and see where it takes me.