Portfolio Reviews

Tonight, I attended a portfolio review out in Huntington. I know I may only be in 10th grade with 2 more years to go until college, but hey, it never hurts to start early right? It was my first review, and I think it went pretty good.

I got reviews from representatives from Pratt and Cooper Union.
Personally, I think the review from Pratt was a lot more comfortable to go through than the one from Cooper. All I got from the Cooper Union review was that they focus heavily on fine arts. Nothing much more. Meh.

The rep. from Pratt gave me a lot more insight. He brought up some interesting topics - he looked at the portfolio that I gathered, and mentioned this new and upcoming field of art called Interactive Art. He described it to me, and it perked my ears a bit.

I might look a little into that.

Artist Inspirations; An Ongoing List

Philip Guston
Ischia
1948, ink on paper

Egon Schiele

Selbstportrat Als Heiliger Sebastian 

1941, pencil on paper

Standing Male Nude with Red Loincloth

1914, gouache, watercolor and pencil

Wassily Kandinsky

Composition VII

1913, oil on canvas

Robert S. Neuman

Ship to Paradise - The Wreck

1987, mixed media

Ship to Paradise - Encumbered by a Great Rock

1987, mixed media

Ship to Paradise 2

1977, lithograph

Kiki Smith

Born

2002

Banksy

Newwww Yawwwwk

I'm planning on doing another photography project.

I'm going to shoot in selective black and white photos.

The project is going to centered around people. The type of people that congregate with other people. The type of person you'd find in a specific place. What magnetizes them?

Mr. Pasquier made an interesting point to me in class today that really helped me to realize something.

He said that "Perfection is boring. Imperfection almost makes perfection."

That really stuck with me because I'm still in the phase of trying to adjust the way I work; from knowing everything to just trying to loosen up. To let the artwork guide me, not my mind.

My Koan

Why won't people pay attention to me?

----

I'm afraid of being alone. I'm afraid of not being loved.

----

The more I know about myself, the more afraid I become.
It's really scary. It is literally horrifying.

I don't know if I like this.

This shit blows.

Clear Days

Today was just a day of STAC art. I needed today. I enjoy STAC art very much because within the class, I feel like it's just easier to get those creative juices flowing.

My creative ability felt like a well oiled machine today. It was nice to feel like this especially after that day of being down in the dumps about my individual project.

I've also thought about what Luke told me this afternoon. He said that he's not clear on whether or not I should keep the "cartoon" aspect of my work or get rid of it as soon as possible. He said that it's a sort of fall back plan when nothing else is in place. I understand why he would say that because it makes a lot of sense. This kind of style falls into the same category as "cliché." But I think that it doesn't pose any REAL threat to myself as an artist. It's not like I don't know how to draw traditionally. It just means that I might just have to work harder at it, and I'm okay with that. I certainly am capable of producing work without this style which I think is important. I enjoy this simple style that I have because it's just something that is quick and simple for those days when I am just in the mood to create. 

Time Thief

I think I discovered another one of my possible artistic issues- time.

Time makes me anxious. The more I think about it, the more anxious I become. I feel as if the kernels of my life span are disintegrating between my very fingers. It's bizarre; at times I feel as if there isn't enough time in the entire stretch of space to do everything that I want to do. At other times, I feel like I have too much time. Time scares me. Time doesn't stop for anybody. Time doesn't give a shit about you.

It was around 2AM, and I was doing some thinking. I was also on the phone with my boyfriend listening to him tell me all about his childhood.

Unlike my family, his family is extremely close knit. His childhood was what one could call "perfect. He had the sort of childhood where after his soccer games, his father would take him out for ice cream. I'm actually quite jealous of the relationship his family shares (not that I don't appreciate my own). He also had what seemed like endless story after endless story. I thought about what I spent my childhood doing and I couldn't really think of anything of terrible importance.
For that sole reason, I was a bit panicky. I know I had a normal childhood and that I wasn't "robbed" of a childhood, but I feel like I've been in a way, robbed of time.

I talked to my boyfriend about this, and he told me that one shouldn't be afraid of time. That one should instead embrace time with open arms. Life happens in chapters, and each chapter has it benefits and it's down sides. For example, childhood is enjoyable in the aspect that you don't harbor much responsibility but it's annoying in the aspect that you don't have a lot of freedom. Early adulthood does come with responsibility, but it also comes with the added bonus of freedom.

Although he said all that, I still can't help but feel like I need to make up for lost time. That there's something that I constantly didn't fulfill. It makes me anxious....once again.

Grrrrrr.

Artist's Block

For those of you that were in STAC last year- remember those grids we made of ourselves on the wall outside of the STAC room? Well, mine was extremely structured.

I tend to think in a rather "defined" manner. Because of that, I ran into some problems. The independent project that Luke assigned me was focused on planes, but more importantly on being loose. I failed.

So I just threw some brain vomit (left side) on the sheet and moped all the way home.
But as Luke always says, you can't make something great without making a crapload of well, crap.

That was yesterday. I was miserable. 

Today, we tackled the problem. I had to practically install the definition of loose into my brain.

I drew features of my body with my left hand and added volume with charcoal.

Then I turned it into a collage. 

I had no clue what I was doing the entire time, but I didn't care. I kind of liked it anyway.

I guess what I took away from this is that it's okay to not know what the hell is going on. You don't have to. Real artists never know what their final product will look like. They just close their eyes and let the "feelings" take over. 

Cooper Union Outreach Program

I'm going to need to depend on more than just luck if I'm going to want to get into Cooper Union's Outreach Program.

Cooper Union's Outreach Program is a fully paid for scholarship program that lasts for about 5 weeks, meeting every Saturday for an entire day. Only 18 students from grades 10-12 get accepted, and you must live in the NYC/surrounding area. In order to get in however, you must be interviewed and have a portfolio of around 10-20 pieces.

I'm thinking of things to gather already because I'm planning to get in for the Winter 2012-2013.

Blah, I'm going to end up working my butt off for this.
Hopefully all my hard work will pay off.

But even if it doesn't, that isn't a problem either. I'll just possibly apply again. Also, I will just end up having done a lot more art then I would have if I didn't decide to apply to the program!

So in a way, it's a win-win situation either way.